Hello and welcome to the Messy Mompreneur Podcast, where we cover all things community, parent entrepreneurship, and building life-first marketing efforts for your small business! I’m your host, Alysha Sanford. I’m a mostly-work-from-home mom with a background in brand photography and a passion for sustainable marketing strategies. You’re probably listening because you, too, wear all of the hats, and I’m so happy to have you here!

If you hit play on this episode, I’m going to guess that you might be feeling overwhelmed managing all of the things. And if you’re listening to this in real time as this episode is published, I’m also guessing that the holiday to-dos aren’t helping. Today I want to address the thing that we call mental load, how it affects parent entrepreneurs, but more specifically how it affects mom entrepreneurs. I want to share 7 ways to reduce that mental load and overall stress, and all can make a difference through the year if you put them into practice. This wasn’t an episode I’d originally planned to drop at this time, but I’m feeling the importance of sharing it now and I really hope that it feels like a big hug.

Main Topics included in this Episode

  • A definition of "mental load"
  • Relatable examples of how it affects me as a busy toddler mom and small business owner, and how it likely affects you as well
  • 7 ways to reduce that mental load and overall stress

Resources Mentioned

Connect with Alysha

Music Licensing Info

Music by Eli Lev - Dancin' on the Lawn

Link

Episode Transcription

If you hit play on this episode, I'm going to guess that you might be feeling overwhelmed managing all of the things. And if you're listening to this in real time as this episode is published, I'm also guessing that the holiday to-dos aren't helping. Today, I want to address that thing that we call mental load, how it affects parent entrepreneurs, but more specifically, how it affects mom entrepreneurs. I also want to share seven ways to reduce that mental load and overall stress, And all of it can make a difference throughout the year if you put them into practice, especially now during a busy season. This wasn't an episode that I'd originally planned to drop at this time, but I'm feeling the importance of sharing it now, and I really hope that it feels like a big hug. Hello and welcome to the Messy Mompreneur Podcast, where we cover all things community, parent entrepreneurship, and building life-first marketing efforts for your small business. I'm your host, Alysha Sanford. I'm a mostly work-from-home mom with a toddler, a background in brand photography, and a passion for sustainable marketing strategies. You're probably listening because you, too, wear all of the hats, and I'm so happy to have you here. Okay, so let's define that buzzword or term of mental load. The Google AI overview definition is that the mental load is the invisible, constant, cognitive effort of planning, organizing, and remembering all the tasks, details, and logistics needed to run a household and family, extending beyond physical chores to include anticipating needs, making lists like groceries, appointments, gifts, and more, scheduling, schooling, extracurriculars, and emotional management often falling disproportionately on women, leading to stress, burnout, and resentment. It's the thinking work that makes the doing possible, a never-ending to-do list in your head that can feel overwhelming. Now let's add in working, running one or more businesses, any volunteer responsibilities, and the mental load from any or all of that. It's kind of insane what we have to track and fit into our days, let alone during the holidays. It's been an extremely busy season in our household. We moved in the summer and that wrapped up, well, it's still kind of wrapping up. There's always lingering things and unboxes or boxes to unpack. But that wrapped up right as the school season began. And I then had about two heavy months of seasonal photography sessions in the fall, along with some volunteer work that I had to do with different events. Our now four-year-old moved up in classes the week after Thanksgiving, and our entire schedule has been flipped around, all while I'm still trying to keep up with finishing photo galleries, order fulfillment, volunteer commitments and projects, my own content creation and marketing, family time, and holiday prep. We have very few days at home, and I'm trying to adapt to that. It's been a struggle. I feel like I'm always packing, loading, unloading, and unpacking a million bags all week long, and that's just our personal bags, not grocery bags, as you can imagine. And if you have littles and multiple commitments, you definitely know the struggle too. I want to add that I'm so grateful for it all, and I'm lucky to have not been sick as much as we were last season through it all during the fall. But the weight of the mental load has left me feeling absolutely scrambled. I'm really having to dive into the following seven ways to stay afloat, and I can't not share it with you because I know that they'd help you too. So the first of the seven is brain dumping and prioritizing the can't delay to-dos and projects. You already know that I use my favorite paper planner for this, and if not, go back to episode 27 for details on it. I keep it open and visible at home at all times, and I check in with it multiple times throughout the day. Getting things out of my head and onto paper in one place has really helped me to be able to go to bed at night without them circulating and keeping me awake. And there's going to be a link in the show notes for that planner if you want to check it out. Super helpful. The second way is carving out true realistic focus blocks and setting up for those in advance. I swear it makes all the difference. This is so important. For example, I usually have one day of childcare during the week, and I know that the first half of those days will be filled with running errands and appointments, leaving maybe like 2 to 3 hours for focus work before having to stop and pick her up again. If you have limited focus work blocks, decide what tasks absolutely can't be done in other pockets of time where you have more noise or interruption. For me, it's recording podcast episodes and editing galleries. So what I'm not doing during that focus time, like right now, is prepping the outlines for those recordings. Those will be done prior so that I'm ready to go and I don't lose that precious focus time. And I can do some of my gallery editing. while she's here, but she's not so patient with me when she sees me doing it. So I try to fit that in when she's not here and not griping at me sitting at the computer. My bonus tip is to use the airplane mode or do not disturb mode on your phone during that time. Listen to calm lo-fi music in the background and stay off of social media if it's a distraction for you. So the third thing that I am leaning into is batch work. I talk about it all the time. I've probably annoyed you with it, and I know that I've annoyed my husband with it as he edits and produces the show and hears it constantly. But for busy small business owners, entrepreneurs, parents, and also anyone struggling with ADHD, hi, it's me, all the above. Batching tasks is key. That's grocery shopping, meal prep, batch cooking, weekly chores. laundry, blogging, recording podcasts, editing galleries, repurposing content for social media posts, pinning content to Pinterest, volunteer project work. I try my best to batch that into theme days or theme chunks, I guess, throughout the week and or month to reduce task switching and the mental load of it all. Also, if you need a batch content scheduler, check out Metricool. I'll put a link in the show notes. I've talked about it before plenty of times. It's the best. Number 4 is setting alarms, timers, calendar alerts, and reminders on my phone. I have alarms for just about everything that I toggle on and off throughout the week. I deal with time blindness personally, and I need that accountability for making everything happen. Sorry, happen, and things actually still fall through the cracks, especially if I don't set those alarms. So checking my daily to-dos and appointments in my planner and then turning on the alarms and calendar alerts really helps when I feel like the days aren't my own and they get away from me. And I'm sure you've felt that way too. Number 5, self-care. Kind of another buzz term or whatever. But for me, that's specifically a few things. The first would be not letting myself skip on chiropractic appointments for my millennial sciatic pain and neck pain. If you're this age or older, don't sleep on the piriformis stretches. They're life-changing. This is not medical advice, just an invite to look into them. If you also have to do a lot of sitting for work and battle sciatic pain, check out a chiropractor and ask them about it. And if they help, make sure they're regular appointments. I skipped appointments last month and had to battle severe sciatic pain following a day of mini sessions, as well as a week with a pinched nerve in my neck, contributing to migraines for about a week following that editing marathon that naturally comes from all those photo sessions. And I just had another appointment today, and I'm feeling like 1,000,000 bucks. Another form of self-care that I've had to prioritize is to not skip out on my counseling appointments that really help with my anxiety and grief following a heavy loss of, heavy season of loss, sorry, and missing those family members even more during the holidays. I talk more about this in episode 24, so check that out for more context there. And then listening to my favorite podcasts focused on ADHD tips for entrepreneurs. I'll name drop it in case you resonate and want help with that. Look for the ADHD CEO podcast and give it a try. It's pretty helpful. And scheduling time alone or with family. I recharge through having pockets of alone time. My ears often feel like they're ringing at the end of the day and sitting with myself in silence or getting out. for a walk at my favorite pond loop for a bit really helps. And our family really loves coast trips, so we scheduled one of those for December too. Not that we had a ton of time, but I know it'll be a moment to recharge. I list more ways to prioritize self-care. Clear back in episode 2 if you're wanting more. Number 6 is asking for help, whether it's from a partner, family members, or paid outsourcing if you're able to. This is so helpful to do with chores, grocery shopping, cooking, work tasks, childcare, transporting kids to school, or extracurriculars, you name it. Not everything has to be done by you and you alone. So ask for help. And finally, #7 is saying no. It is so hard for me, and it might be hard for you as well, but a few things to consider when struggling with it. What are you in turn saying no to if you say yes to this? What gut feeling did you have while being asked to take this on? Was it stress? Listen to that gut instinct. And remember that someone else's angst doesn't have to become yours. That sounds harsh, possibly, but you can allow yourself to not take on their stress and still be supportive. My bonus tip here is to offer other solutions. If you don't have the room in your calendar or your schedule for another project, job, or to do, you can offer a referral to someone who may have that availability that you don't. Or it can be done at a later time, possibly, so ask if they really have to do this now or if it could be a bit later when you have more of a capacity to do it. So let's recap on those ways to reduce the mental load as a parent entrepreneur, especially during busy seasons in life. The first is brain dumping and prioritizing the can't delay to-dos and projects. The second is carving out true realistic focus blocks and setting up for them in advance. The third is batch work and reducing the task switching, freeing up both your brain space and time. The 4th is setting alarms, timers, calendar alerts, and reminders on your phone. The 5th is to identify the most impactful self-care routines or habits for yourself and sticking to those. The 6th is asking for help with anything that you could delegate or outsource. And the 7th is saying no. All right, that does it for today's episode. Thank you so much for spending time with me today. I would love to connect with you. can find me on Instagram with the handle at hey Alysha Sanford. Check out the contact info and links in the show notes for everything mentioned in today's episode. Make sure to sign up for the Friday Mix weekly e-mail if you haven't already. That's where I share behind the scenes marketing strategies, content ideas, and support for small business owners like you. Alright, friend, until next time, bye!